Thanks to Part 1, we know how suicides can happen, and what factors can contribute to those feelings. Now, we’ll take a look at how those suicidal thoughts manifest through actions, and how you can catch them when they happen.

1. Previous Suicide Attempts

Relief is a natural reaction when a loved one survives from an attempt. But, if they’ve attempted before, they will likely try again. Talking about suicide isn’t always comfortable, but it can be done. If they are preparing for another attempt (see #2), call 911 or seek mental health assistance.

2. When They Look For Ways to Die

This can include seeking access to pills, knives, and other objects they can use to harm themselves. Prevention is better than intervention, and keeping your child safe is the ultimate priority. Don’t hesitate to support them and provide them with appropriate professional help.

3. Talking about Suicide/Wanting to Die

If your child is uncharacteristically preoccupied with death and dying, pay attention. If they express feelings of truly wanting to die, take those feelings seriously and respond with compassion and empathy. There are many resources for professional help available (some linked below).

4. Giving Away Belongings/Writing a Will

If your child is giving away their belongings to some of their loved ones (it might even be you!) and especially writing a will, chances are they’re preparing for something final. Use this opportunity to reach out and check in.

5. Hopelessness

As previously mentioned, hopelessness is a key factor to suicidal thoughts. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem that feels hopeless. Be there for your children, and empower them by showing them what they can do to help themselves or their situation.

6. Dramatic Behavioral Changes

This doesn’t apply to natural change and growth that results from adolescence. These changes tend to be sudden and concerning, and can hint at something more worrisome.

Withdrawing from Friends, Family, Fun Activities

Sleeping All the Time, or Very Little

Increased Agitation and Anxiety

Reckless/Risky (But Not Necessarily Life-Threatening) Behaviors

It’s important to note that not everyone experiencing suicide ideation will exhibit these warning signs. Our goal is to empower you with the warning signs so you can help the majority in pain who do. For more information on suicide research and warning signs, click here.

If you are having suicidal thoughts or know someone who does, there is help:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273 8255
• Text HOME to 741-741 to reach Crisis Text Line

Studies show that by the time kids reach pre-adolescence “tween” years, 40% of girls consider themselves overweight. 45% of boys and girls in grades 3-6 want to be thinner. And 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat.

Body positivity is a sensitive topic to address with children. Their experiences with self-esteem and body image are often fraught with mixed messages from their social environment and media. But with support from parents and loved ones, it can be achieved.

We’ve compiled 7 strategies to help you not only set the stage for your kids to have a positive and healthy experience with their bodies, but address any concerns or worries that do come up. 

1. Do Unto Others As You Would Do For Your Child

Kids learn not only from how you talk about yourself, but also from the way you speak about others. Comments like “They look too skinny” about others can send them mixed messages and derail your efforts.

2. Focus on Abilities, Not Looks

Our bodies are beautiful and strong, and have endless capabilities. Celebrate that in your child! If they’ve accomplished something great, focus on what they’ve achieved and how they felt about it.

3. “Fat” Isn’t Necessarily “Bad”

It’s important to recognize and show our children that one size doesn’t fit all bodies. Being thin isn’t the priority, being healthy is.

4. Recognize Your Own Baggage

Before opening a dialogue, it’s important to self reflect and own the background that you’re coming to the conversation with. Your feelings surrounding and experiences involving your own body image affect how you discuss the subject with your child.

5. Be Open And Listen

A simple, yet incredibly important tip. Sometimes, more than lessons or knowledge, kids need a safe place to come to when they’re struggling. Being that place and being open to whatever they have to say will give you insight into their thoughts, which will better help you understand the actual problem that needs to be addressed.

Listening doesn’t have to be passive. Here are a couple of strategies to help you actively listen and engage.

6. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Give them a platform to share and open up. Using What, How, When, and Where questions are all great ways to explore the discussion without putting them on the spot or making them feel judged for sharing.

“What’s been making you feel bad?”

7. Use Their Language

Specific terms can be a minefield to navigate in a discussion about body image. Keep it simple, and use the language you hear. If they say they’ve been called chubby, use chubby instead of fat. This way, you won’t be labelling them, and they will feel heard.

These tips are a good starting place, but they aren’t the only methods out there to encourage and support positive body image and self-esteem. If you would like more resources and ideas, you can check out the following list of links:

• 10 Body Positive Tips
• Eat Right – 5 Ways To Promote Positive Body Image
• Help Develop A Positive Body Image

“You don’t understand!”

I’m sure many parents have heard this coming from their teenagers. You find yourself reflecting back to your own adolescent years as you watch your teen storm to their room, throw their backpack on the floor, and slam the bedroom door behind them.

You remember the rock n’ roll music, the fluffy hair, and the bright colored clothing. You didn’t have social media, access to oodles of information at your fingertips or even privacy when it came to talking to your friends on the home phone. It feels like a lifetime ago. How could you possibly relate?

Your teen’s experience isn’t so different than your own. Teens still experience the pressure to fit in, the pressure to date, the pressure to perform academically, and the fear of failure. Just as you once did. And when struggling to fit in, it’s all too easy to feel out of place and lonely. Sometimes, teens choose to isolate themselves as a result of bullying. None of which helps with their self-esteem.

Teens experiencing low self-esteem view themselves as unworthy and lack confidence. It interferes with their ability to form relationships, try new activities, and take healthy risks. It’s unlikely that your teen will come forward and tell you that they are struggling with low self-esteem. So how will you know when to step in?

Here are some common signs to look for in your teen:

Negative self-perception:

Teens experiencing low self-esteem may express negative thoughts about their worth.

“I’m just not good enough to be friends with them.”

Inability to make eye-contact:

Teens struggling with low self-esteem may find it difficult to make eye contact when communicating. They assume the other person is viewing them negatively.

Avoiding social situations:

Teens with low self-esteem may lack the confidence to form social relationships and therefore avoid social situations altogether.

As a parent, you can play a key role in building your teen’s self-esteem. This will enable your teen to take on challenges with confidence and feel a sense of pride in their abilities. Here are some ways you can help improve your teen’s self-esteem:

Focusing on Strengths

What does your teen excel in? What are their interests? Build upon these strengths.

If your teen enjoys reading, have them join a book club where they can meet others with similar hobbies.

Provide Praise

It’s important to praise your teen when they’ve done something well. Try to make your teen aware of the qualities you admire about them.

“I like the way you took the time to help your grandmother. You are a kind-hearted person.”

Journaling

Encourage your teen to spend a little time journaling every day. Journaling is a great way to become more aware of yourself.

Have your teen write down their highlights for the day, characteristics they like about themselves or things they are grateful for. For more prompts, you can look here.

The next time your teen tells you that you don’t understand, let them know that actually, you do understand. Try to relate by sharing your own personal experiences. Most importantly, don’t forget to remind them that you are there for them and that they have your support.

 

 

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and love (and cheesy Hallmark cards) are in the air! Kids are buying each other candy, flowers, and festive singing grams. It’s an exhilarating time for many. What’s not to like about being liked?

Unless…you don’t feel liked. Valentine’s Day can quickly go from a fun holiday when everyone gets candy to a pressure-packed high school petri dish of hormones, crushes, and fragile self-esteem. We all enjoy feeling cared about, and having the looming cloud of V-doom lingering over you doesn’t help that expectation. It’s hard to be disappointed on what society tells us is the most romantic holiday ever. Like you’re missing out, and you’re the only one feeling that way. It’s called isolation, and it’s something no teenager (or general human being) wants to feel.

Connection is an important part of the human experience. As young people grow into themselves and develop those connections with their peers, interest in and desire for romantic relationships grows. It’s true, romance can be a great way to connect and feel a bond, but it certainly isn’t the only kind of meaningful love out there. For parents of a lonely kid on Valentine’s Day, we’ve got a few suggestions of things to do to show your kids there are many ways to love, and be loved.

Take Them To A Petting Zoo

Petting various adorable animals, need I say more? In addition to the self-explanatory joys of spending time with dogs and cats and llamas, it’s healthy for you. Engaging in social and affectionate touch with animals, who are great companions, can do wonders for our social confidence and happiness. And if your kid feels self-conscious or uncool going to a petting zoo, you can always swing by your nearby pet store, or take a walk around a local dog park. There are plenty of options.

Read With Them

Reading can be such an incredible way to explore fantasy worlds, ignite your imagination, and especially explore different kinds of relationships and connections. The stories that books, TV shows, and movies weave allow a unique opportunity to empathize with and connect deeply with characters that live in those mediums. Just think of how Harry Potter has touched millions around the world. Surrounded by beautiful universes and beloved characters, alone time on Valentine’s Day is far from lonely or boring.

Volunteer With Seniors

When you are in a school vacuum spending time with similar aged youth, it’s hard to imagine the lives of people in separate life stages. Volunteering with seniors in a retirement community can help give perspective and provide an opportunity to hear their life stories (they were young once too!). And they’re often in a lonely position, in which many of their friends, family, and partners have passed. Small gestures like sitting and talking with them, passing out flowers, or generally spending time can go a long way in fostering appreciation, warmth, and connection.

These are only a few suggestions to broaden your child’s horizons on what love is. There are numerous other ways to find connection in the world, as evidenced by this Lifehacker article. Whether you find it in a beloved pet, a riveting story and characters, or in small connections with individuals different to you, love is a meaningful experience that teaches us about ourselves and others. And at the end of the day, you’ll be spending quality time with your child. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

5:30 am – wake up; 6:00 am – workout; 7:00 am – shower and breakfast; 8:00 am – school starts; 3:00 pm – school ends; 3:30 pm – after school practice; 6:00 pm – group project meeting; 7:00 pm – dinner at home; 8:00 pm – daily chores; 9:00 pm – homework and study; 12:00 am – sleep

The cycle repeats.

Teens carry a packed schedule as they try to balance sports and academics. They have little time for themselves between morning and evening practices, a full schedule of classes, and keeping up with their responsibilities at home. Regardless of physical exhaustion and the lack of sleep, teens continue to strive to meet the expectations of parents, peers, and coaches. The pressure to continuously perform can take a toll on a teenager’s mental health.

“Trying so hard just mentally stresses you too much. I think that’s what gets me. It tears me up.”

It can be both exciting and rewarding to watch your teen perform on the field. However, as a parent, you can’t help but feel helpless when you see your teen struggling to manage the pressure.

Here are some ways you can support your teen:

Relaxation Techniques:

Teenagers may experience increased stress during important games such as playoffs. Teens fear making a mistake that could cost the school their spot in the championship.

“It’s hard because you’re trying not to mess up. Like at any moment you mess up, everybody is watching.”

• Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and guided imagery can be effective in calming stress before a big game.
• Teens can use these techniques to stay in the present and have a focused mindset.
• With regular practice, relaxation techniques can relieve stress in other areas of life.

Encourage a Balanced Life:

Competing at the varsity college level would be a dream come true for any teen athlete. Teens spend countless hours practicing and perfecting their athletic skills to reach this goal. However,  of the 8 million students currently participating in high school sports, only 6% will move on to compete at the NCAA college level. The odds of getting a sports scholarship are very low.

• Talk to your teen and discuss whether it is really worth it to give up time with friends and family to pursue sports.
• Sports don’t need to become your teen’s entire identity.
• Encourage your teen to explore their interests in other areas (school clubs, volunteering, music, part-time jobs).

What to Avoid:

Often times, parents can live vicariously through their children. Parents may be putting added pressure on their teengagers without even realizing it.

“If you’re not starting, then you don’t go out this weekend.”  

• Be sure to provide praise regardless of a win.
• Refrain from overly praising your teen’s teammate or comparing your teen to a teammate.
• Avoid disappointed facial expressions, tone, and body posture.
• Resist the urge to shout instructions from the sidelines. Coaching is best left to the coach.

Original Source: VeryWell.com

School sports provide opportunities to form friendships, generate a sense of belonging, and improve confidence. For some, sports may relieve the stress of everyday life. For others, it only adds to the pressure of high school. It’s important to maintain open communication with your teen and discuss concerns regularly. As a parent, stay positive, provide encouragement, and unconditional support. If you sense that your teen is struggling to cope with stress, you can always reach out to school counselors for additional assistance.

If you or someone you know needs help:

• Call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Text HELLO to 741-741 for free, 24 hour support from the Crisis Text Line

For a database of international resources visit International Association for Suicide Prevention

Wintertime is a season to snuggle up in blankets, drink warm cocoa, and stay cozy with family and friends in front of a warm hearth. Unfortunately, depression doesn’t follow a 9am-5pm schedule with a break for the holidays, and some of those very loved ones might be experiencing painful seasonal sadness.

Depression isn’t a made-up illness, and often impacts one’s emotional wellbeing and close relationships. In those situations, everyone is affected. Different types of depression, like major depressive disorder and seasonal depression, exist and influence how long or how severe the depression is. With all those variables, would you know if your child is depressed? Here are some common symptoms:

Emotional

1. A persistently sad, numb, or hopeless mood towards life.
2. General irritability or restlessness over minor issues; could even include outbursts of anger.
3. Feeling worthless or guilty, with a fixation on past failures and blaming oneself.
4. Visibly on edge and struggling to relax.

Social/Mental

1. Diminished interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities, especially ones they used to love. Disinterest in or feeling burdened by social activities or engagement with others.
2. Trouble concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things.

Physical

1. Difficulties with sleeping, including insomnia or oversleeping.
2. Decreased energy and general tiredness. Small tasks seem to take extra effort.
3. Changes in appetite or weight that can include weight loss and lowered appetite, or overeating and weight gain.
4. Persistent and/or unexplained physical problems like headaches, back pain, digestive problems, etc.

Original Source: DignityHealth.org

It’s important to note that not every depressed person will exhibit all of these signs. Some may even show only a few. It’s crucial to not only be aware of the warning signs, but assess the context of each individual’s situation before you decide an approach.

No one is born knowing how to deal with these situations, and it’s understandable to be flummoxed by the realization that someone you know might be experiencing painful thoughts. There are plenty of ways to approach and help, whether you see them at home or at school.

For answers to FAQ on the treatment and recognition of mental health disorders, click here.

If you or someone you know are experiencing pain or suicidal thoughts, there is always help:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273 8255
• Text HOME to 741-741 to reach Crisis Text Line
• Browse for a list of international crisis lines here.